Not surprisingly, the relationship didn’t last and it was only in the years after that I realized the reason why: I was looking outside myself for love and approval, a fatal misstep I see committed all the time. Acknowledging your attributes privately, however, is a wonderful thing and is a practice you all should adopt. And it's something I was flush with just last week, despite a total travel nightmare. Well I’d fall to pieces. During the course of our relationship my moods were totally contingent upon the way he responded to me- a compliment would lead to exhilaration. Well, the obvious answer is to seek happiness within — but today we’ll look at some ways to do that. If you’re afraid of approaching a guy because you’re scared he’ll reject you, well say to yourself, ‘A confident person doesn’t fear rejection because a confident person knows they’re fabulous and knows they’re a catch in every sense and whoever doesn’t see that is missing out. 10 Foods You Should Never Eat, How to Burn Calories Effectively (the Healthy Way), 10 Personal Development Goals for Success and Happiness, 15 Ways to Boost Your Motivation for Success, 30 Essential Core Values for Living the Life You Want. Saying I wanted a boyfriend had a very clear underlying message- I wanted to be loved, desired, to feel good about myself, to have someone there to make me feel good about myself when I didn’t. 35 Top Productivity Apps for iPhone (2020 Updated), How to Push Yourself to the Next Level and Achieve Success, How to Focus on Yourself and Accomplish Your Goals in Life, 15 Office Design Tricks That Will Increase Your Productivity at Work, 8 Benefits of a Minimalist Lifestyle That Get You to Live With Less, How to Make Time Go Faster When You’re Having a Bad Time, 19 Definitions Of Success You Should Never Ignore, 10 Personal Development Goals for Success and Happiness, 15 Inspiring Ideas to Boost Your Motivation for Success, How to Raise Your Self Worth and Trust Yourself More, Why Weight Lifting for Weight Loss Leads to Super Fast Results. These tweaks are actually pretty simple and if you do it right, you will attain the kind of genuine happiness most people spend their lives pursuing. If you want to be more confident, then make a list that details what confidence looks like and act accordingly. But that doesn’t mean to make your partner unhappy or miserable. Paperback. PIES is a common acronym for the complete package to ensure happiness. Everyone knows that during depression a person colors the world in gray tones: the surrounding people seem angry and sad, and the reality around loses its color. A common piece of advice is that you have to learn to love yourself before you even get into a relationship. This Is The Only Relationship Advice You’ll Ever Need…, The 10 Best Things About Becoming Single After A Long-Term Relationship, What I Discovered About Myself After 10 Failed Relationships, 8 Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me When I Was Diagnosed With Herpes, You Were Exactly What I Didn’t Know I Needed, 5 Reasons Why Loving Someone Is Hard When You Have Anxiety, An Apology Letter To Us Both For How Long It Took Me To Let Go, It’s Okay To Be Selfish In Your Relationships. My desperation did somehow result in a relationship and from there, chaos ensued. Remember that it’s hard for you to gain the confidence to find happiness within … Hoarding: A Classified Mental Health Disorder, Do You Need Help? Now this isn’t gonna be a tale about how I wanted it and it didn’t happen and then when I stopped wanting it, it did. Having a significant other is a wonderful thing, but it isn’t the only thing and it certainly doesn’t make you complete, despite what the Hallmark cards might say. While it feels amazing to be in a stable relationship, you don't want your whole life to revolve around your SO. P – physical exercise, I – intellectual stimulation, E – emotional stimulation, S – spiritual stimulation. I’m going to get so much done today!’ It may sound silly, but trust me, it works. A technique I like to use is to think the exact opposite when a bad thought enters my mind. All Rights Reserved. I would definitely recommend this book to any women who may be having issues within a relationship or with the men in their life in general. We often neglect our needs and our priorities can become artificial. I never stopped to wonder why, I just wanted it. “It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere” ~Agnes Repplier. It doesn’t matter what other people think of you, it’s the thoughts you have about yourself that make all the difference. Learning Self-love While In A Relationship. If you don’t have a special someone in your life, it’s okay, it’s actually great because you get to be totally selfish and get to live life only for you which is a luxury people in couples do not enjoy! Negative thoughts are inevitable. But how does one cultivate such a love? Learn about us. Before you can be happy with someone else, you truly need to find happiness within yourself. It is when an imperfect couple learns to … We’ve all been told that before you can find a healthy, happy, loving relationship, it is essential to love yourself. We are all wonderful, amazing creatures and given that, we certainly do not need a man to mirror this right back to us. The Building Happiness (Exercises) worksheet includes a list of activities that have been found to help build sustained happiness, when practiced regularly. Often the insecurities will lead to conflict, and sometimes the conflict will lead to a breakup. Hold on to your values and never compromise your self-esteem. The fact is, if you don’t feel good about yourself, nothing he does will ever be enough. If you don’t want to have a bad day or feel bad about yourself, then start thinking great thoughts! What Should Be Your End Goal In Life Above All Else? Dedicated to your stories and ideas. An insult? Some of us gave up crafts at the ripe age of 13, but I’m telling you—pick it back up. While meditating, you bring your mind into a state of happiness and you gain more control over yourself. We’ve all been told that before you can find a healthy, happy, loving relationship, it is essential to love yourself. This didn’t happen magically, it took some work and a major attitude overall which was done using the tips listed below. Using your creativity is a great step in the process of learning how to find happiness within yourself. Talking about how great you are is definitely off-putting. Learn more about working with Thought Catalog. You can write down your positive traits or consciously let them run through your mind. I was once a very foolish little lady and I know I’m not alone. It can be difficult to be in a relationship if you don’t have a great deal of self-love. The good news is that you can control the thoughts that enter your mind and you don’t have to pay attention to the negative ones. Above and beyond finances, intelligence, or hometown, relationships are a crucial determinant of happiness. “A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ come together. If you truly want to find happiness in a marriage or relationship, then do what makes you feel good within yourself. I’m going to pass this book on to one of my best friends now!” — Aubrey. 4.8 out of 5 stars 5,042. Take some time to be alone, find a … Happiness takes work. Changes in life circumstances like a promotion or a new relationship might result in a temporary happiness boost, but before long the excitement levels off. When being in this state, it’s easier to keep your optimism and vacant mood. Today, focus on 8 hours of sleep, 8 hours of work and 8 hours of a healthy, fulfilling and enjoyable YOU time. I have faced my fair share of insecurity and self-doubt but these burdens are mostly a thing of the past for me now and I have evolved into someone who is (mostly) confident in every way. Everyone has positive attributes, from physical features to personality traits. Healthcare Phobia, and 3 Ways to Overcome it, 9 Ways to Truly Find Happiness Within Yourself, Tasty and Healthy Weight Loss Snacks to Reach Your Goals Fast, 11 Amazing Health Benefits of Garlic (Backed by Science), 10 Expert Tips for Computer Eye Strain Relief, What to Eat After a Workout? After this relationship ended, I truly learned the value of loving myself, and I found that with my newfound confidence, I was a much happier person out of the relationship than I had ever been when I was in it. You can help them but when you are struggling with yourself, choose to stay away from any form of negativity. Submit your writing to be published on Thought Catalog. If you don’t truly believe you’re worthy of love, you will never believe someone can love you. Here are 11 tips to find true happiness: 1. This post originally appeared at A New Mode. When a negative thought pops into your head, cut it off right then and there. My motivation for this post came the other day while reading Feeling Good by David D. Burns (a book I highly recommend), specifically this passage: “People who have found happiness within themselves are usually the most desirable to members of the opposite sex and become like magnets because they are at peace and generate a sense of joy.” While these insights aren’t anything new, I felt compelled to examine this concept in more depth because for some reason, I think most of us put this very vital knowledge on the back burner.

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